F&#@ It, I’ll Do It Myself

Whether it be walking my dog, shopping for groceries, cleaning my home, or cooking I’m generally a person who enjoys carrying out tasks alone. I’ve encountered many friends and even boyfriends who desire to join me while I check off my “to-do” list and as admirable as that sounds, I gracefully decline their offer. I’m tremendously particular and loathe distractions. I also come well-equipped with trust issues causing me to preform individually ensuring that only I could be to blame if things didn’t go as planned. Be that as it may, my next story may come as a shock, considering I permitted a friend of mine to dye part of my hair blue.

My friendship with Jessica is fueled heavily by spontaneity. On rare occasions have we planned in advance the adventurous things we do. We work together and often one of us will randomly ask do you want to dye my hair todayresulting in the other barely hesitating before responding “YES!” Seldom do we execute these plans with ease as a result of the lack of planning, yet we always manage to laugh and enjoy whatever it is we end up doing.

It started off with a Brett Michaels concert that Jessica’s parents were attending a few hours away from home, leaving Jessica and I to an unsupervised house and of course – wine. Originally, the plan was that I would come over and we would watch a few movies and drink some wine, but later Jessica had asked me if I could dye her hair. I’ve dyed hair before and felt confident I could do it, so I didn’t mind saying yes.

When I arrived at her house, Jessica had half of her hair down and the other half of her hair in a bun. I found the hairstyle to be slightly weird considering I’d forgotten I was dyeing her hair and half assumed we were dying her whole head, but her sister had to be driven to work so I hopped in her car and when we got back she explained her hair-due was for the half of her hair she wanted dyed. We got to business after a few drinks and I oddly felt like Jenna Marbles (for those of you who don’t know who Jenna Marbles is, she’s a successful YouTuber (check her out) and she’s done videos in the past called “Jenna’s Ratchet Hair Salon” where she does crazy things to her hair and on occasion wine is involved). We had to start by bleaching her hair, all went well. Then, we moved on to dyeing her hair, and I did a pretty alright job with a slight buzz (some shots were mixed in during this time). We got her hair dyed purple and I’ll say I’m proud of myself. There was minimal mess and her hair looked AMAZING!

Now we could have just stopped there, put on a movie, ate some food and then went to bed; however, that would be out of character for my irrational decision-making self. Instead, I asked Jessica if she could dye my hair and we decided what better time than the present? We couldn’t drive so we walked in the cold to Walmart to buy blue hair-dye because I didn’t want to go with the same color she had, and then we went through the process but with her dyeing my hair. Now, if you skimmed over the first paragraph, please revisit it so you understand how crazy it is that I’ve entrusted someone to dye my hair. I don’t even go to a hair salon. I dye my own hair and I cut my own hair. Every time I allow someone else to do my hair, I find something wrong with it, even if that person is a professional.  I’m very high maintenance and picky.

Jessica repeated the process I went through for her and the outcome was hysterical. There was blue hair-dye EVERYWHERE (except for in my hair). The counter was covered in blue as well as the sink, there was blue stain all over my back and my neck, and when I looked up at Jessica after she was finished washing my hair in the sink, she busted into laughter just for me to find out that my entire face was stained blue. I looked like a Smurfette and her house looked like a Smurf crime scene. I took a few more shots because there was blue everywhere and my hair was mostly blue but there were a few blonde parts from where my hair had been bleached but were missed with the blue dye. We wrapped up and cleaned everything and then eventually did just go to bed, but when I woke up the next day, I realized that my hair didn’t exactly look the way I wanted it to look.

It turns out we had bought a hair-dye that was only good for 30 washes to begin with, so we were doomed from the start. I work in the professional world and have relatively thin hair that looks disgusting if not washed, so even though you’re not supposed to wash your hair right away after dyeing it, and there are specific shampoo’s for dyed hair, spontaneous planning doesn’t often allow for perfect end results. I needed to work, I didn’t have special hair-dye, and unknowingly every wash was bleeding the color from my hair (which became apparent with all the blue shower water).  After a few days I went to Walmart to buy more hair-dye as my blue hair was turning into a sea foam green color and I hated it. I went home a re-dyed my hair and now it’s definitely blue and I’m taking better care of it.

I tell myself that if I had done it on my own that it would have turned out perfectly the first time, but that simply isn’t true. The problem came mainly from the dye in particular that was intended to be permeant from the start. I have to say, even now, looking at my hair I still have some blonde streaks near my side burns that moderately piss me off every morning but what’s a girl to do? If I dye my hair too many more times, I’ll most likely have none left to dye and be half bald.  I will say that the adventure was well worth the end result but Jessica will never be dyeing my hair again. Maybe.

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