October 19th, 2012

Today marks 7 years since my mom passed away. I was 15 then and I’m 22 now. I’ll never forget that day, the day my entire life flipped upside down and crashed around me within one night.

Losing a parent at a young age changes you forever. Suddenly a portion of who you are is gone and filling that large, empty space seems impossible. I promise, it can be done, there is just a lot of pain to be felt first.

My mom was a wonderful woman who would give the shirt off her back to the very first person who needed it. She was kind, funny, smart and man she could defend her loved ones better than anyone I know. If my mom didn’t like something, you knew about it. She was fearless and sometimes ruthless and there wasn’t a thing stopping her from living her best life.

My mom loved me in a way that could move mountains. I never went without anything. I always had everything I wanted plus so much more. My mom was a parent first but always a friend, she listened no matter what I was upset about and always offered up hugs. She supported me and loved me through everything.

These last seven years without my mom have been Hell. To say the least. Birthdays, holidays, graduations, nothing feels right because she isn’t here. The pain comes in waves and often mellows out for longer periods of time than it used to, but when it hits, it hits hard. I’m thankful for my loving family to help me through it all.

Nothing and no one can ever take the place of a parent, making the loss even more difficult. I think it’s important to feel the pain and work through it, rather than try filling the void. I did that at first and it didn’t help at all. Now, I have better ways to manage, I work through the pain in healthier ways.

Seven years ago I didn’t think I would make it.

Somehow I did.

Ellen Mary Adams 1/27/63 — 10/19/2012

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